Choices, Choices, Choices

December 1, 2015

Ritu Ghatourey once said “We all make choices; but in the end our choices make us.” I believe that artists are constantly faced with choices, choices that may not be spectacular at the moment but eventually pile up into a mountain of large choices. One of the choices made by every artist is the choice to create because he’s an artist, not because he is seeking fame. This choice plays out in various smaller choices. it's could be evident in the way we show our new art to people, or in the way we might refuse a project simply because there’s no recognition or payment in it.

Tomorrow night I get to face that choice again. I am showing my art for the first time publicly. My creations have been seen for years by the public, but not by a public looking for art. This time it will be viewed by people who have no emotional investment in me and can say whatever they feel about my art! These little creations birthed mostly in solitude are going to be exposed to people who know nothing about me. How vulnerable is that?

The questions that I have been asking myself all week are: “What if no one wants to buy my paintings? What if they laugh? What if they think that my art is far from worth what I am charging?” The vulnerable part I can deal with, the stab at my identity is a little harder to wrestle down. Am I an artist, a good artist, even if no one even steps close to my work tomorrow night? I always say to young artists that an artist is someone who creates art…period. Fame is a confusing aftermath that comes and goes for some artists (and I would imagine feels good) but can completely paralyze a creative soul. 

I heard a famous writer talk about his first bestseller. For a year after his first book made the New York Bestsellers list he drank himself to sleep every night. His identity was sucker-punched by a moment of fame and he couldn’t get past it. Everything he wrote after that was bathed in the pressure of “doing it again.” My point is this: Who am I? I am an artist. This I know for sure. Any recognition that comes from my creations feels good, but is fleeting. I choose to create because I get the privilege to create, not to sell a painting. 

Most likely if you are reading this, you too have been blessed with a creative soul. Consider making a choice to love creating because God has blessed you with that ability. Don’t create for the approval of others. Those daily choices will keep us fresh and free to create in a way that God has made us to create. If people like it, great! If they don’t, oh well. If we sell something, it is an added bonus but it won’t determine our joy in creating or cut through our creative souls and dismantle the truth… we are artists.